Do You Have Social Anxiety
So lets speak biologically for a second here and ask if you have social anxiety ? And once you have come to a conclusion, you’ll be closer to knowing how to overcome social anxiety. By the way another way to ask yourself this and maybe get a relative answer may be to take our social anxiety test.
There’s a part of your brain called amygalda, it’s a tiny little defense mechanism built in to light up and function in a situation when you feel fear. It alerts you and notifies you when danger is close or when you’re currently under threat of danger. In relation to anxiety you feel this fear and this is where your imagination comes into place. Read more about this here.
Imagination is strong very strong and the stronger it is the more realistic the fear. And as soon as you make your imaginative situation clear the fear of it becomes clear which then lights up this tiny little part of your brain. So what you need to remember is, it’s not as bad as it seems, and its only in your head mind state, which can be changed.
So yes, everyone has this part in their brains which triggers anxiousness when they fear a certain situation that is about to occur or occurring at a certain point. What you need to ask yourself is, how does this make you react?
ASK YOURSELF THIS..
If you feel a little bit nervous before a dinner, party, or a presentation for example then that’s pretty normal. feeling extreme anxiousness can make you a whole different person than what your imaginative happy person feels like.
For example ask yourself these questions…
Do you actually avoid social events or doing activities and tend to spend that time alone instead?
Do you get scared by even the thought of doing things that involve others.. Like talking, eating, going to parties etc?
Do you feel like it’s difficult or even impossible to do things when others are watching?
Every question you ask and every answer you get takes you one step closer to overcoming social anxiety.
WHAT’S YOUR SITUATION
Silly question really you could be stuck in a boat in the middle of no where with a tiger and a can of beans just now, BUT the real question here is which type of situation makes you feel overly self-conscious and anxious.
In order for your social anxiety to trigger you need to be in a social situation. A social situation is when you and one other person or several people are involved. This can cause you different types of anxiety so think about which one affects you most.
The two types are
- Performance Situations
- Interpersonal Situations
So I’m going to use a few examples here just to lighten up the imagination. If you already know by now what I’m talking about then feel free to move a step futher and click here.
- Public Speaking
Has your boss or lecturer asked you to do a presentation and in your mind it’s not that you’re not bothered to do this due to the work it will take, but because of the effort it’ll take to keep yourself together in front of a crowd.
When you know an answer to a question but cant bring yourself to say it out loud. Or when during lectures/meetings/discussions … you’re just too afraid to ask a question that is aching in the back of your mind.
- Eating in front of others. Well, this is pretty self explanatory.
- Using Public Washrooms
That one time when you didn’t go before you left home, or have been out too long to control the rate your body is trying to survive and need the bathroom but are too scared to go. Yeah, that!. It’s called bladder shyness. It can be pretty annoying, but that’s not the only part that’s though. Being afraid of anyone hearing you or judging you when you go to the bathroom. Holding your self back until it’s empty (safe) to do your thing. That can make you extremely anxious.
- Writing in front of others
Yes, being judged for your god awful hand writing as if it means that you are completely uneducated, can make you feel nervous. It may even cause you to misspell more frequently than you ever would if you were in your comfort zone.
- Public performance
This is much more common and can also happen when you have not performed to an expected standard in the past. For example singing, acting, or dancing in front of others can make you very fearful and anxious of the consequences.
- Entering a room when everyone is seated
I should know what this feels like, in high school I used to go to extreme lengths to avoid confrontation or having to walk into a class room after everyone was already sitting down. I used to dodge hours of class just to make sure I don’t have to answer questions people want to ask me like where was I why and why I didn’t turn up. I used to make up lies all the time like ” oh I was ill this morning” when in reality i was either in the bathroom or in the dinner hall.
So entering a room full of people who are already prepared may make you feel as if you are uninvited, or out of place which can also raise the levels of your social anxiety.
Now these are different situations which can easily cause you to feel anxious or in really bad cases, even cause a panic attack.
- Meeting New People
Introduction, the fear of a bad first impression cause you to avoid meeting people you don’t already know is an indicator. But not always, not unless you are once again going out your way to avoid this.
- Talking to co-workers or class mates
This is where you can make use of the ‘Conversation Threading Technique’ we have in our shyness and social anxiety training. Staring a conversation or approaching a colleague in a general day can become more of a mission to accomplish when you’re anxious rather can something you can find enjoyable.
- Turning Up
Turning up to places you are invited to like parties or dinners for example. You are able to name a 100 excuses as to why you are uncomfortable enough to patch the idea all together and not go. You would rather not go through the hassle of spending a judgement night out. Because that doesn’t sound appealing to anyone trust me.
- Dating – Now this is a big one but without going into too much detail you might want to check out the Social Anxiety and Dating page for this.
Let’s take Alexis’s story for example
Alexis is 27, and is currently in university, and lives on her own. She spends a lot of her time in the day thinking about how afraid she is to go out and meet others because she feels scrutinized, and judged badly. This isn’t something new though, since she was a child she struggled to make friends and get on well in the play ground, and as she grew older, the locations changed but the situation did not.
Alexis is excessively concerned and conscious about talking to others, mainly because she doesn’t want to say anything ‘wrong’ to upset anyone in any way, or make them feel uncomfortable. as a result of this paranoia Alexis tends to keep her opinions to her self most of the time and goes out her way to avoid conversations and eye contact with people around her, especially her neighbors and colleagues who do the same course.
This is social phobia. But Alexis can fix this depending on which way suits her best. We’ll be discussing some really cool techniques in our training program which may people who are actually looking to make a serious change. To find out how you can overcome your anxiety issues click here.