How to Deal With Rejection
I’ve said before, and I’ll likely say it again, that no matter how hard you try you can’t please everyone and learning how to deal with rejection can be a big part of learning how to overcome your shyness.
Quick note: I’m going to be looking at the idea of dealing with rejection when you’re comfortable talking to people. If you’re still struggling at the stage of starting conversations with strangers, keeping them going and growing your social circle then maybe click here instead.
What I tend to find is when people first start to overcome the immediate shyness of talking to people they’re too busy walking on egg shells to really allow their personality out. They become too afraid of having to deal with rejection they socially muffle themselves. So people tend to see them as ‘nice but quiet’ and that’s about as far as it goes.
If you really want to grow your social circle and ability, you need to be yourself. You need to let your personality out. And to do that you’re going to have to deal with rejection. Don’t get caught up in the worry that you’re shy or have no friends or social life. In order to get past all that you need to learn how to cope with rejection and think of life as more of a numbers game.
You can’t please everyone. It’s really as simple as that. I’m not saying go out there and be an crule monkey, I’m saying be who you are and keep meeting people until you find people you actually get on with by being by yourself. If you’re constantly finding yourself hidden or too afraid to say things in a group of people or freidns then it’s pretty clear that you can’t be yourself arond them, and sometimes when you try and find a ay of how to deal with stress caused by this, then you need to learn to not be afraid of rejection.
There are a lot of people in the world and not everyone is going to like you, and not everyone will like who you are. Just keep that in mind.
Now I’ve seen some crazy ass advice out there on handling rejection. I’ve seen people locking themselves away for a week because someone didn’t call them back or gave them a funny look. There are 7 billion+ people in the world – play it like a numbers game.
Remove the muffler and be yourself. Allow your personality to come out a little at a time if you have. The actual best piece of advice I can think to suggest for overcoming rejection would be to just go and meet new people.
Don’t mope around and take it personally. Shrug it off and move on. The more time you spend thinking about what happen the less time you get to make sure that if that happens again, you won’t let it affect you.
Don’t put your own life on hold hoping they’ll change their mind. I’m not saying you should completely give up on someone after one bad encounter but if nothing else you should be meeting new people anyway.
Just like I suggest using various techniques of social exposure to overcome shyness exposing yourself to rejection will make it easier. It’s easy enough for me to sit here and suggest you basically stop caring but you can’t always reason logically with your emotions. So go with the trial by fire approach. We actually have a couple of decent techniques mentioned in our training program about this which might be of some use to you.
Try to keep what I’ve said in mind and stop caring so much about what people think. Put yourself in positions to be rejected by people. I’m not saying go and be an ass to everyone who talks to you. I’m saying be yourself and don’t care about the rejection side of things. It will happen. To be honest with you if it doesn’t then there’s something wrong. You’re almost guaranteed to be rejected if you meet enough people.