How to Not Be Shy
Before we get started here I need to pick apart your word choice a little. You asked how to not be shy – not how to overcome or stop your shyness. I’m not saying this isn’t 100% possible (in fact it saddens me how many people give up and decide to live with their shyness when it’s actually pretty easy to sort) but I do need to make sure you understand what you’d need to do.
There are some sites and YouTube videos telling people to recite some rubbish to themselves 10 times in the mirror and you’ll be the life of the party by lunch time.
Now our training has some cool techniques and toys like our “conversation threading” and “rule of 1 in 5″ which can help you see some fast progress but the reality is it can take some work before you’re completely “not shy”. So can I show you how to not be shy? You betcha. Is it going to be swallowing a pill and throwing a keg party for your massive new social circle on day 1? Probably not. Though I guarantee it can change your life.
How Not to Be Shy
After years of going through every book and DVD etc… on the subject of shyness I feel pretty confident in saying the online training course from Sean is the best way to stop being shy. I would have saved years of my life and a whole lot of money if I’d had something like this back then. Look at it this way, you’re starting with a leg up over me and I couldn’t have a busier social life these days (though back then it was a different story). The exact time frame is different for everyone but the amount of people I’ve helped learning how to not be shy and how easy they’ve had it compared to me…
Well it’s thanks to this training course.
You can struggle through working of the tiny bits of information kicking around the internet on random blogs and YouTube videos. Some of it is good, some of it is just useless nonsense and some can end up doing more harm than good. You might even luck out and end up learning how to beat shyness this way. It’s probably not the first time that would happen (though it’d be the first time I’d see it). The safe money says, however, that you’ll make things worse for yourself and eventually end up quitting. There’s just too much bad advice out there from people who don’t really understand shyness. I wish they’d stop trying to help.
The truth is beating shyness is pretty easy. Take it from someone who did it themselves and now runs a site on how to overcome shyness. I just need to hammer home that idea that it’s not an overnight pill though our training does try and make it that easy. We’ve just not quite got it pill form yet. My honest advice is to take that training. I don’t understand anyone who doesn’t unless they’re happy being stuck where they are – in which case I don’t get why you’re here in the first place. But if you’re determined to struggle on by yourself at least let me give you some pointers.
How to Not be Shy and Awkward
If you’re feeling pretty awkward in a social setting then you might be looking to take things a little further than just getting some advice. I’ve coached enough people through this stage to know the kinds of things they might be looking for. Avoid medication. There’s plenty of pills which tell you they’ll take the trouble out of how to not be shy. From years of experience I’ve yet to see any actual good medication for shyness. It’s a behavioral learning problem and one which can be easily rectified. Put down the pills and do the work. You’ll be happier for it.
The key thing is learning to be consistent. Whether you’re using our training or the random bits of advice you find kicking around the place you need to keep doing things. Sure if you pick up some advice here and there now and then it might eventually work. But I’m not really looking to “eventually” help you. I want to you learn how to not be shy as quickly as possible, as easily as possible with as few uncomfortable social situations as possible. We adopt a step by step system which helps you stick to a plan but you can do this yourself if you prefer. Just. Be. Consistent.
How to Not Be Shy Around your Crush
Just want to preface this part by saying we’re not a dating site with a bunch of cheesy pick up lines. Though learning to talk comfortably with people (including someone you’re attracted to) is definitely in our forte. If you take a look at the article I wrote a while ago about why are people shy, I was talking about the lower levels of our brains and how they’re responsible for us being shy. Basically if you feel shy around someone it’s because you fear them. You know that logically your crush is unlikely to jump across the table and attack you with a spear for talking to them (I guess it depends what you say to them). But logic and reason don’t apply here.
Learning how to not be shy around your crush is basically the same as learning how to not be so shy in general. You’re afraid of them because you’ve put them on a higher social standing than yourself.
How to Not Be Shy in School
Our readership is a bit of a mixed bag. Shyness can stick with your for life or it can develop at any point during your life. We get asked a lot about being shy in school which is why we stick with that wording but to be honest the same kind of thing applies to a lot of workplaces as well.
School is one of those places where you feel a lot of pressure socially. To be honest I haven’t seen any point in my life where an element of it wasn’t like school. But in school you haven’t had enough of experience of this which can make it seem harder. But I think there’s an important think to learn when it comes to learning how to not be shy in school, and it’s so simple it’s just two words. Nobody cares.
While there’s an element of this unspoken social order between us all – most of it is just in our heads. Most people are just too wound up thinking about their own problems to really worry about what anyone else is doing. Keeping that alone in mind can be a great tool in learning how to not be shy.