Wow so you actually want to make a change then?
Most people discover there is an answer and feel proud of themselves for even bothering to look. They’ll save it for later and tell themselves it’s always an option. But they’ll never actually change anything. But since you actually clicked through and want to make a change I’m going to teach you something.
Something you can hopefully use to make a change today. This should be your first ah-hah! moment.
You know all this advice people give you?
“Just get over it!”
“Just talk to people!”
“Just pretend to be confident!”
“Why don’t you just… ?”
It’s crap. Nonsense.
You might have even heard them from teachers, parents or “experts”. They don’t know what they’re talking about.
And most of these websites on having no social skills and shyness don’t help. Rather than actually help they’d rather just feed you some useless quote or pretty picture to make you feel better.
But it won’t actually change anything. (Sean’s system is built for results – not for just making you feel better for half an hour).
To be fair. It’s hard to understand shyness and social problems unless you’ve actually gone through it yourself.
Shyness and social anxiety isn’t something you can just do anything about. Well, not with the standard practices anyway.
It’s not something to choose. We don’t just decide we don’t want a social life.
It actually stems from the cavemen instincts in the lower levels of our brain. It’s a survival mechanism we’ve subconsciously learned. It’s not something you can reason with – it’s something you need to “re-train”.
If you follow the rubbish advice you’ll find online it’s usually “just go and talk to them” or “go to the party and meet people”. But think about it. If you do this and you suffer shyness (which is likely) you’re just going to reinforce that emotion. You’re teaching that caveman level of your brain that meeting people is scary.
Don’t feed the caveman.
In fact one of the best ways to learn to overcome shyness and build a social life can be done right from home. It’s all about knowing what to do. And about what not to do.
If we take it one step further we get the people who try to “help”.
Piles of useless self help books (which don’t sell cheap). I’ve bought more than a few of these in my time.
Pills with high price tags and higher side effects. Not to mention they don’t really do much to help.
Therapists who require you to open up and be vulnerable. The only thing closer to your worst nightmare is the bill they give you afterwards.
And I’m not saying it’s in their interest for you not to actually get better. It’s not like you’ll keep paying for their… oh no wait. That’s exactly what I’m saying.
So what did I use?
I used something different. Something new.
I used a system which tells me exactly what to do and say in social situations.
At first it was a serious of things I’d practice in my room.
Then a checklist I’d be constantly running through in my head when I spoke to people. It worked but it took effort for a few weeks while I got used to it.
Pretty quickly I just…
It was like I’d always been able to do it. It’s kind of hard to imagine having a problem talking to people now.
It’s easy to be confident and relaxed, easy to be talkative and interesting.
You just need to learn to “re-train” your brain to do what it should be doing already.