Feeling Lonely In Marriage

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If there’s one thing worse than a miserable, lonely single person, it’s a miserable, lonely married person. The irony is that no husband or wife marries with the intention of being isolated from their spouse. Most people believe that marriage is the cure for loneliness, but I want to warn you: You began battling the dreaded foe of isolation as soon as you drove off on your honeymoon. Isolation has reached epidemic proportions in the most intimate of human relationships. In addition to more than a million legal divorces each year1, isolation saps the strength from millions of marriages that still appear intact.

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She felt alone and apprehensive about their new life together; he felt puzzled that their conversation had dried up so quickly. Busyness and fatigue set in as they moved into the stream of everyday life. Their marriage wore down under the draining influence of isolation. Had this couple not attended a FamilyLife Weekend to Remember getaway, their marriage might have continued its spiral farther into isolation and, ultimately, divorce. Find a way to resolve your differences and move toward oneness. Allow your spouse into your life.

feeling lonely in marriage


The Surprising Secrets Of Highly Happy Marriages

Find the source of your loneliness.

Rather than quickly blaming your partner or your relationship, take some time to think about why you are feeling lonely.

The real reason for your loneliness may have as much to do with you and your actions as it does your spouse.

If you feel youare being neglected by your spouse, it’s possible you are blocking them out also. You may both be so focused on your work, kids, or other obligations that you aren’t making room for one another.

In fact, your partner might be feeling the same sense of isolation and loneliness that you do. So you both begin to feel frustrated and resentful of the other, putting yet another wedge between you that doesn’t need to be there.

Before assuming that you are being neglected, examine your own behaviors to make sure that you are not contributing to the divide. Be willing to initiate more engagement with your partner, rather than expecting him or her to make the first move. Don’t rely on your spouse for all of your needs.

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feeling lonely in marriage thumbnailThings aren’t quite as blissful. Partners don’t put in as much effort as they did when they first met to court one other or be attentive and present with their spouse. Be willing to initiate more engagement with your partner, rather than expecting him or her to make the first move. Don’t rely on your spouse for all of your needs. Make physical closeness and priority. Start small to help resurrect your physical touch with your partner by sitting closer, offering a back rub, or giving a surprise kiss.

hi my name is Lamar Tyler this is my lovely wife Ronnie and you’re here with us on another episode of husband wife life the web series here on babble and today’s quickie topic is should you ever feel alone in your marriage Rhonda what do you say no I mean ideally the answer should be no you know the greatest benefit of being married it’s that you can be there with your spouse every day and if you’ll have that intimacy in that connection so I really know if you’re feeling alone in your marriage how about things that you need to do two things first of all continue to work on that connection with your spouse if you’re not communicating if you’re not connecting maybe get a third party to kind of come in and help you with communicating in it’s intimacy but on secondly if you’re feeling alone then you really don’t have to have your environment kind of dictate your existence I mean it doesn’t have to control you I love that dr.Gary Chapman says in his book desperate marriages he says your environment this can affect you but it doesn’t have to control you and so you have the power to get out there and to do some things to overcome that feeling of loneliness you know whether it’s getting getting a hobby taking control of your own happiness yeah and you know you shouldn’t feel alone in your marriage this probably happens more often than it actually should one of my good friends dr. sherry Oh Blake actually wrote a book called the single married woman you actually read that right right and did you enjoy it yeah I really enjoyed that book it was for men women anyone that felt alone in their marriage they felt like they were shouldering all the responsibilities of trying to make the marriage work you know so likes it happens more often it should but you don’t have to just sit there and let it happen in your marriage you actually can actually do something to head it off for the stop it or change the course of actions or the sequence of actions that are going on and your relationship and today’s question of the day is Dee Lamar and Ronnie I’ve been a very kind and caring Southern gentleman online in January we emailed and chatted on the phone often then begin dating I backed up a few steps when he became inconsistent with calls canceling dates because his 90 year old grandmother would often all him in need of health what a nice guy ride my emotions began to get a little caught up in the man and I was afraid I would get too deeply involved so I ended it we reconnected and he blew my phone up after missing my voicemail to make a long story short I found out the man had recently married someone else but he was still coming on strong I wanted to tell her because if I was in her shoes I’d be so grateful another man I married was chasing other women right after marrying me I found out because her name showed up on my caller ID she’s on Facebook and I wrote her message with all the gory details but couldn’t send it my question for you is do I warn this woman about the man she’s dealing with I was just deeply hurt and had no idea he was involved with someone else and believe she’s just as naive and smitten with his sweet kindness as I works the last it’s not over her job also shows up on our profile I could call her at work until her I need to talk with her I’m perplexed my girlfriend sent her a message linker noted he was still trying to see me but I don’t think she goes on Facebook very often with the long stretches between her posts please advise me if I should contact her and tell her how bad he really is I mean that was a workout just reading all of this kind of stuff on TV so I can’t wait to hear your answer this is a complicated answer for me I mean if so that question was so full of drama that I just don’t even know where to start I mean first of all is she stalking you this woman on Facebook you know trying to see when she’s posting and see where she works and things of that nature so I’m thinking like what is she trying to achieve and what she what is she trying to accomplish we’re trying to you know tell the woman her got her girlfriend sent her a message already you’ve done your part let it go yes my thing I grew they I think she’s done her part you had your girlfriend sent her a message I don’t even know if that was cool to do that or not but it’s been done um so just leave good enough alone you know just don’t answer any calls from the man just tell them you know just just be done with the whole situation walk away and live your life at the same time just seems like a lot of drama a lot of things going on you know and don’t expect that she’ll react the way you may want her to react if you keep pursuing this thing you know don’t be surprised maybe she already knows what’s going on maybe she’s already confronted her husband or maybe she is she knows and doesn’t want to confront him or just doesn’t want to face it you know whatever it is you’ve done your part through your friend you let her know now walk away and live your best life right because you may not get the response from her that you’re expecting because honestly I would probably hear you but I would also be angry with you I wouldn’t necessarily let you know that I was listening to you exactly she may not even believe you so today you know we can’t wait to hear what you have to say about today’s quickie topic and especially especially today’s question of the day make sure you leave a comment below and we’ve enjoyed you joining us today for another episode of husband wife life here on Babylon Lamar Tyler this is Ronnie Tyler and we’ll see you next time. .


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