How Long Does it Take to Overcome Shyness

The question everyone has when they first start looking into overcoming shyness is how long is it going to take to overcome shyness. I know this for two reasons. First of all it was the first thing I wanted to know when I started looking into overcoming shyness. Secondly since starting this site I’ve been talking to a lot of people who are learning how to stop being shy.

It’s natural to want to know how long it’s going to take. It’s also a good thing to consider because a big part of this is about setting goals and targets for yourself.

Overcoming Your Shyness – The Time Frame

Notice I say overcoming YOUR shyness there. Not overcoming shyness. The thing you need to keep in mind is that everyone experiences shyness differently and it’ll affect people differently and to different degrees. Being shy is generally a blanket term used to describe shyness and social anxiety but that can break down into many different levels.

I’ve spoken to people who want to overcome shyness because they make any excuse to avoid going out. I’ve spoken to people who feel they’re shy because they can’t talk to people if the group is bigger than half a dozen. Shyness affects people differently and it’s going to take a different amount of time to learn to overcome.

Some people might start overcoming their shyness within weeks. It could (theoretically) take years but I’ve never known anyone to take that long. As a rough guideline I’d say three months. It’s impossible to give everyone a timeframe and you might find it takes less or more time but I’d be surprised if you don’t start to see a change within three months.

While You Overcome Shyness

time to overcome shynessThis is also something you have to keep in mind. When you’re learning something like this it’s not a matter of reading a few books and following a few techniques and then x amount of time later you’re no longer shy. It’s a learning process like anything else. I think there’s a lot of ways to learn how to overcome shyness. I think some people manage to overcome shyness by luck and for others it can just become worse overtime.

The best way to learn to overcome shyness is to properly understand it. If you look at any of the articles on shyness and social awkwardness I discuss the ideas and the reasons behind being shy. I look at the techniques which lead you through overcoming shyness. But while you’re working on this you might have noticed that things are slowly getting easier.

Because the shyness techniques I use don’t throw you into the deep end and make it worse for you you’re learning how to properly deal with your shyness when you find yourself in a social situation you’re learning how to deal with them.

To start with, it might find yourself a situation and one of the techniques will come to mind. Maybe a few weeks later you get yourself into a conversation or two if you’re thinking constantly about the techniques. Ideally, by the end of the process, you’ll not have that problem at all. We want to get you to the point where you don’t even need to think about it.

We’re not using daily ‘feel good’ quotes here. I know I’ve said this before but it’s a point I want to make clear – learning to overcome shyness is not done by motivational quotes and useless bits of advice. It’s done by understanding your shyness and ‘re-training’ yourself to not react badly to social situations.

I hope that sounds easy, because it is. The hard part to all of this is getting this kind of advice in the first place because most of the advice being circulated is by people who know nothing about shyness and put people into situations where they’re not actually going to be able to overcome it.

Anyone, regardless of how shy you are, can learn to beat shyness. It’s just a matter of knowing the techniques to use and following them properly. There’s no magic pill which will do it for you, but there’s no tricks and nonsense you need to put yourself through. Learn the basic A-B-C rules and follow them.

Learning to Overcome Shyness Faster

I’m pretty straightforward with the techniques we use here on over shyness. There’s no tricks or cheap gimmicks to do this. But there are some things you can do to overcome shyness faster. You still need to follow the basic techniques and constantly apply them but setting yourself a realistic timeline and noting your progress along the way can really help speed things along.

One of the reasons for this, among several, is that it can help you realise how far you’ve come that much faster. I don’t believe in one liner motivation quotes but I do believe in being motivated by your own results. If you accidently find yourself handling a social situation where you’d usually panic? You can use that success to inspire yourself into handling other social interactions and you might be amazed at the difference this can make.

Now don’t get me wrong here. Forcing yourself into situations where you’re not ready is most likely not going to help. You will need to stay patient here but really it’s all worthwhile in the end. Even if it takes you three months to get anywhere – your life is still changed (for the better) in a big way three months later.

This might not have been the answer you’re looking for. I’ve seen books and guides offer to show people how to overcome shyness in ‘7 days or less’ and all that jazz. But even if part of you wants to believe that it’s possible, deep down you know that kind of nonsense doesn’t work. Real techniques from someone who has actually went through shyness and practice is what will make the difference.

But the buck ends with you. If you don’t like the answer you’re getting here then by all means go and look for a guide offering the ‘super dooper confidence buster in 6 hours while you sleep!’ or something like that. And I wish you the best, I do. But if you want to make a real change to your life, overcome that shyness and get the life you want? Then it’s going to take time and effort, but it’s going to be worth it.

Tagged As: over come shyness, overcoming shyness, shyness

5 Responses to “How Long Does it Take to Overcome Shyness”

  • Kenny

    I’ve been trying for a while now and (thanks to your help!!) I feel much better now and I get along with people better.

  • Harlow

    Is there anything I can do to get over being shy quickly?

  • Linnie

    Damn I was really hoping you would say I could do it in a day lol

  • Iain

    Things slowly get better?

    • Raider

      What about hanging around people who know how to party/meet people and see if they hook you up??

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