Small Talk For Introverts in 2018

Our complete small talk for introverts guide. You only get one life stop wasting it away with shyness. Get a markable difference in your social life and overcome shyness within 7 days. How crazy is that?

Getting to know others in your office by striking up small talk conversations is an anxiety-inducing social activity, coming in right behind team-building exercises like the trust fall and that relay thing where you have to race around with a raw egg on a spoon. That goes double for introverted or shy people. This course will provide the student with five no-fail tips for striking up a conversation and sample scripts to demonstrate good small talk in action.

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This course will provide the student with five no-fail tips for striking up a conversation and sample scripts to demonstrate good small talk in action. The first and most important step toward making great conversation is to show a genuine interest in the people youre chatting with. In the first twenty seconds, you have a green lightthe person youre chatting with is engaged and enjoying the conversation. Youre edging toward boring.

small talk for introverts

Small Talk Conversation Examples

Furthermore, communication is not necessarily something that is mastered in its frequency or volume, but rather in its quality.

In fact, many introverts may be excellent with communicative styles.

Small talk, for many introverts, is a positive experience, even in cases in which they may be shy or reserved. Introversion often allows people to be more intuitive or observant of others’ interests or feelings, making small talk a much less awkward experience.

You may have seen for yourself how well many introverts can talk with strangers or acquaintances. Some can discuss topics such as current events, their jobs, or even the weather with ease.

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ShynessHowever, this does not necessarily mean that introverts do not gain something or energy from others. The acquaintance will feel comfortable; the introvert is comfortable, allowing the conversation to develop talk move to more generic conversation, such as of current events. Almost everyone can appreciate a person that has empathy or sympathy, and displaying that in a conversation is exactly what introverts are good at. People tend to enjoy working with introverts as they are focused, and their communication skills suggest they are thoughtful.

good morning and welcome to coffee with Colleen today we are going to talk about how to make small talk even if you are an introvert so let’s get started good morning and welcome so small talk it’s not superficial small talk actually serves a purpose thanks for being here my name is Colleen Hammond I’m a former on camera meteorologist for the Weather Channel turned executive image consultant coach and mentor in 30 days or less I will fill your closet with clothing that makes you look and feel like a million bucks you know what the first thing I like women to do is to shop their closet so we’re not talking about spending a lot of money so let’s talk about small talk you know I think we’ve lost the concept of communication and relationships good morning Deidre and Tina I and is it because of online do we communicate with emojis now do we communicate with means so that when we get into a networking situation or we get in the situation where we’re face to face with somebody do we even know what to say or do we feel like we have to send them a text message so we’ve kind of lost the art of small talk and engaging in conversations and it’s not a superficial some people say Oh small talk it’s just a bunch of hype and it’s so superficial and but relationships and face to face relationships we need as human beings we need that connection we need that interaction so I’m going to give you five tips as well as suggested things to say what questions to ask how to open a conversation how to get things started and how to just be nice because really that’s what small talk is it’s helping us build a foundation of a relationship which leads to deeper relationships and deeper conversations in the future but you have to start somewhere so think of it as kind of the appetizer if you will that will lead to a main course an entree of a deeper relationship and if it doesn’t you can always leave that relationship there and move on to something else but if it doesn’t lead to something else then not only if you made a friend you may have a new business partner you may find some common ground so hopefully this will help you out not only that when you’re in gay in small talk with an absolute stranger whom you may never see again right but remember that when you are happy and you share your happiness with your spouse they have an eight percent chance of becoming happier one of your dear friends has a 25 percent chance of becoming happier but an absolute stranger has a 34 percent chance of increasing their happiness based on a positive interaction with you so even engaging in practicing small talk and an absolute stranger in line while you’re getting coffee or or at the grocery store or you know it doesn’t have to be a networking event or a company function but learning to practice those types of things will improve other people’s lives good morning Kim bartenders need small talk yeah yeah I’m Sara Sara says great topic glad to hear it so whether you are in line for coffee a networking event or a company event these tips will help you get the ball rolling make a great impression but just learning to exchange a few pleasantries is never going to hurt it’s never going to so number one speaking of hurting you have to reduce your anxiety level watch your small you know your self talk when it comes to situations like this when you go into a situation where you know let’s say you’re going to a company function and you’re going to be engaging in small talk with some people that you know may be spouses or other people in the company that you don’t know or maybe the CEO is going to be there and everyone’s going to be to be able to meet him just remember that be nice be warm be happy right and here’s a couple of things to to kind of remind yourself that you know because our self talk can sabotage us before we even begin so everyone needs somebody to talk to remind yourself everyone needs somebody to talk to so by you going up and talking to somebody else they’re going to be so relieved so that’s the first tip I give my clients when they’re going into a networking event look for somebody who’s standing by themselves and someone is standing by themselves they don’t have anybody else to talk to you don’t have somebody to talk to you you just arrived go talk to them they’ll probably be relieved that they don’t have to stand there awkwardly all by themselves and they have somebody to talk to a Joanne says they do well if I ask questions or comment first if they ask first I talk too much we’re coming up to that one Joanne good morning lovelies how’s it going Tammy just because you had a bad experience in the past doesn’t mean this is going to be a bad experience so watch yourself talk when I said Oh every time all the other times I’ve done this no erase all those past experiences take the tips that gives you today so the next time you get into this situation and practice on strangers in line at the coffee shop or at the grocery store also number three as far as your self talk is concerned remember your anxiety is coming from you it’s in here remember we talked about that the other day how much time do we spend thinking about past regrets and future fears all of your anxiety is coming from your beliefs and what you’re saying to yourself not the current situation good morning Amy Amy’s back so your anxiety is coming from between your two years so don’t waste time thinking about past situations or future fears what can you do right here and right now so number two is you’re petting language first and foremost smile it’s just warm today’s a new beginning Tammy says absolutely a smile will break the ice for you better than anything else people will like you immediately sidebar to that we were just talking about this the other day Chris you know my I have my identity theft situation and I’m dealing with right now but I remember I had my purse stolen I’m like are totally my fault I live in a small town I ran in to check my p.o box I looked over and I saw a woman sitting in the car and like at the other side of the parking lot and she just kind of looked out of place for some reason my gut said boom and she smiled just like smiled ah hi you know kind of wave girl just a little happy little smile and it lowered my guard I went in open my box closed my box came out in the thirty seconds we timed it actually I think it was like 25 seconds for what it took me to go in and come out she got into my car took my person left but what lowered my my guard was the fact that she smiled so keep that in mind when you’re engaged in a small talk is that smile it just makes other people feel better about you already and she stole my purse you know she smiled at me and it totally lowered my guard so remember to that smiling will release endorphins in you too and it makes you feel better so just a smile makes other people feel better it makes you feel better too and again with your body language watch the arms cross with a chin down the eyes down that’s all closing people off so keep your arms uncross hold it even if you’re holding a drink a lot of times people will hold a drink right in front of them that’s a defense mechanism so remember to even holding your drink instead of holding the drink in the middle holding it off to the side kind of opens you up a little bit keep your chin up engage in eye contact look people in the eye not and smile as they’re talking you know don’t stare them down to be creepy about it but you know in your eye contact did they say something fossil you know like all that’s interesting you know encourage other people to engage in the conversation the number three tip is asking questions oftentimes we feel that we need to be entertaining good morning bath and we don’t owe a me I’m so sorry I’m proud of your in that and mixes up our trust boundaries yeah it’s a good way to put it story didn’t want to make me be friendly I know Amy isn’t horrible hey Patricia I can’t get you to work today bummer ah well the recording will be amazing make sure you’ll come back and watch the recording Patricia and make sure you share and if you haven’t shared yet now be a good time to share asking questions when you engage in open ended questions it helps you find common ground with somebody else so that you can find other things that you can talk about because the first when you first meet somebody you don’t know anything about them they don’t know anything about you and you don’t know what to talk to or if you’re at a company function normally at work you’re talking about work things but now you’re in a situation what do you talk about work who wants to talk about work when they’re not at work right so finding open ended questions and in the notes if you want to copy the notes put me in the comment section if you’re here on Facebook if you’re my facebook business page if not in the show notes or in the notes that are with this video whether you’re watching it on my personal bit my personal Facebook page on Linked. In or my blog in here I have a link to my facebook Messenger and just send me a note on Facebook messenger who little piece of hair send me a note and facebook Messenger and I’ll send you the link to the copy of these notes in the copy of the notes I have a list of questions so and asking those open ended questions who what when where and how avoid why why is a concept is confrontational and whenever you ask the question why to somebody that’s a stranger it kind of puts up defenses well why’d you do that so not always but why is usually a good word to avoid and then you having follow up questions prepared so if you’re asking somebody hey where are you from then having follow up questions for that oh I’m from you know Salt Lake City wow I’ve never been there or I’ve been there I loved what’s it like there do you miss it so having those follow up questions to a question that that person has already answered is a good thing to have in your back pocket as well you know how do you know the host is such everything but I have more a list of other questions in the notes as well as creative questions that you can ask just to have these types of questions in your pocket so that you have some conversation starters you know how did you get involved if you’re in a work situation you know how did you start doing this what incurred would you encourage other people to do what you do you know those types of things but they give you about five or six different creative questions as conversation starters to get going and in the show notes there are not in the show notes in the notes if you ask me for the notes I’ll give you the notes to the show it’s under number three number four is how to exit a conversation gracefully you know sometimes we don’t want to get volved in a conversation because what if it’s not a good conversation what if this personal some gloms onto us what if we are like totally bored what if we find we really don’t have a connection with this person how do you exit gracefully from a conversation I need just your keyphrase I need excuse me I need to take this call I need to answer this text message I need to call my children I need to powder my nose you need to at sign language for toilet I’ve seen to go to the bathroom but I really enjoyed chatting with you I hope to catch up with you later or here’s my card or if it’s somebody that you want to stay in touch with but maybe you want to work the room maybe you’re at a networking event and you want to work the room and with my clients that teach you all the phrases to use on the networking event and really had a network and how how to work a room but if you feel like you’re stuck in a conversation it’s like oh this thing it can get you out of trouble like hey man excuse me I need to answer this text message I’m so sorry really enjoyed chatting with you let’s catch up later thanks for telling me about blah blah blah blah and of course using a person’s name and if you’ve taken my course on emotional intelligence you have all the tricks on how to memorize people’s names use people’s names that will break down a lot of walls to ending is tough for me so stammer yeah that’s that it is a challenge but just from just remember oops excuse me I need to take this tack acting and for this text I have to call my children I have to I need to go to the bathroom you know powder my nose whatever and then say it was really nice chatting with you and even if you can throw in another tidbit about something that they shared with you you know thanks for telling me about your hometown or thanks for sharing with me how you get started in your business later and then you can move on now if you say you’re going to go to the bathroom make sure you go to the bathroom and then when you come back out you can find another conversation or excuse me I need to grab something else to drink and it was really nice chatting with you then make sure you go get something to drink don’t be lying on people right Tammy says never why puts it in their head to stay in the heart stuff yeah I’m a pro at small talk with strangers so Tammy that’s amazing that’s amazing so also when you put me in the comments make sure you follow the directions in messenger when it says reply to the note don’t come back to the Facebook page reply to the facebook Messenger so the bot within my facebook messenger knows what to send you and what to do Rick says I would think it’s terribly rude whenever somebody goes to their phone during a conversation yeah but if you feel stuck and you need to get out of a situation I use my phone as a backup you know some typing more often than not I’ll just excuse myself from a situation but it is it’s extremely rude that’s why I wait up at the table one of the very first tips I said as I contact smiling eye contact body language being in the here and now being in the moment and really in building that relationship right because we’re not the only person that doesn’t like small talk and that’s the other thing sometimes we think we’re the only one that doesn’t like to do this we’re not the only person that doesn’t like small talk that person standing alone is so grateful that you came over and spoke with them right and it’s not about dazzling other people with your brilliance it’s not about you know it’s just about being nice being charming and you know not being memorable not necessarily I’ll tell you one way to be sure to be memorable is to remember somebody’s name so I’m going to stop this recording we continue the live discussion I’m going to stop this recording right now for so make sure that you are following me on so like comment and share this video follow me here on and in the links below you will also see links to my other social media sites so thanks for joining me for this talk and I hope to see you next time Thanks. .

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Small talk.Do you know someone who can strike up a conversation
with everybody they meet?Their conversations look effortless, they
often get free drinks at the bar, and theymake best friends any time they go out. How do these people do it?Are they some type of social mutants?Or are they just “naturals” when it comes
to talking to people?They may be gifted, but they don’t have
some coveted secret. Instead, they’ve just mastered the art of
small talk: that oh so elusive skill thatmany people claim to hate. While a lot of small talk is based only on
the fact that you’re standing next to someoneand have to say something, the real goal is
to find a common ground to spark up a conversation. First you need to realize that small talk
is NOT a pointless chit chat and claim toonly be interested in “real” conversation. How do you get to the point of having a deeper
conversation with someone in the first place?Someone you just met would be weirded out
if you just walked up to them and asked”What do you think happens after you die?”Conversation is a ladder, with small talk
serving as the first few rungs.
You can’t leap frog up the ladder.That would be like trying to sprint before
warming up or cooking a steak without defrosting it. Now let’s look at a few things you can do
to get that conversation rolling a little quicker. Sharing small details is a really good way
to spark interest in a subject and start upa real conversation. Instead of responding to a simple question
like, “How’s it going?” with “Good, what about you?”expand your answer with a details about your
day. For instance, you might say, “Good, I spent
the morning playing basketball with friends and I’m feeling great!”When you share that little piece of your story
you’ll get one of the two responses: a questionabout how it was or a disinterested, “Oh cool. “If they reciprocate your excitement you have
an in and can continue the conversation.
If they don’t seem interested try revealing
another detail until something sticks.You can also start with a small compliment. Just a simple, “I love your watch, where
did you get it?” can get you into a fun conversationabout watch shopping. Even if the compliment doesn’t lead anywhere,
it will still make the person feel more appreciatedbefore you start discussing other subjects. You can also use this move, as a way to actually
introduce yourself to someone. Learn to Ask Relevant Questions. We’re all hard wired to share information
about ourselves, but in order to get to apoint where you’re having a real conversation,
it’s important to show interest in anotherperson first.
Too often when we’re meeting someone new,
we try to fill the dead moments with chatterabout ourselves.It’s far better for you to listen first and
talk second. Of course, someone has to start the conversation,
but if you and your companion actually listento each other and not worry about what to
say next, things will flow more naturally. Asking questions is a great way to turn small
talk into a conversation. Just make sure your question is relevant to
the topic at hand and not a way to turn theconversation back to you. When asking a question, make sure it’s not
a closed ended. A closed ended question is answered in a short
or single word answer.
A few examples would be:”Did you clean the house?” can be answered
with a simple: “No””Did you speak to John?” can be answered
with a simple: “Yes”Closed ended questions bring conversations
to a halt.They don’t invite people to elaborate, talk
about themselves, or give the questioner any information. On the other hand an open ended question requires
a full answer using the subject’s own knowledgeor feelings. These questions result in an answer with many
words. A few examples would be:”What happened after I left?””How was your day at work?””What do you think about the new season
of this TV show?”The main reason to use open ended questions
is to obtain deep, meaningful, and thoughtful answers. Asking questions in this way invites people
to open up, because you are showing that youare interested in what they have to say. So let’s summarize what we just learned:Small talk leads to a deeper conversation
Share small details about yourself.
Give a genuine compliment and
learn to ask open ended questions.Thanks for watching, if you have any more
small talk tips you would like to share postthem in the comments below. Don’t forget to like and subscribe and become
better than yesterday. . .

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