Stop Being Afraid To Talk On The Phone 2018 Guides

Our complete stop being afraid to talk on the phone guide. You only get one life stop wasting it away with shyness. Get a markable difference in your social life and overcome shyness within 7 days. How crazy is that?

This year, I’ve been working on a sort of personal experiment. I’ve made the decision to talk on the phone as much as possible. My goal is to talk to as many new people over the phone as I can. I’m not doing this because I am incredibly gregarious and love talking on the phone. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. I am incredibly introverted and I hate talking on the phone. So, it’s not that I want to be doing this. It’s that I have to.

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The phone?. All the time, I feel this untraversable distance between me and the people I try to talk to on the phone. You simply dont have to say as much when you actually talk to someone in order to get your thoughts and feelings across. In group conversations, I feel like Im always a few steps behind everyone else. If you spend eight hours a day exchanging thousands of messages with one person over the course of four years, then you do eventually reach the same level of connection as you would from a few face-to-face meetings or phone conversations. Plus, the lack of day-to-day interaction will make connecting over the phone even more important.

Stop Being Afraid to Talk on the Phone


How The Type A Brain Thrives On Stress And How You Can Too

Being scared of talking on the phone can seem a little strange. I used to think I was the only one with that fear. How wrong I was. It turns out that millions of people are afraid of talking on the phone.

Still, it is a strange thing to be afraid of, isnt it?

For a long time my phone phobia made no sense to me.

Ive moved country. Ive jacked in my day job to work on my passion. Ive acted on stage in front of thousands. Thats a breeze to me.

But oh lordy, the phone.

When I call someone I dont know, usually for a business cold call, my hand shakes so much I nearly drop the phone, I mumble nervously, my chest tightens, and its hard to even speak. I get all the symptoms of anxiety.

I have a phone phobia.

My phone phobia stems from social anxiety. And when I say that to you I feel ant-size. Because here I am, a meditation teacher, who has actually written guides to using meditation to stop anxiety, and I still feel anxious when I pick up the phone.

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The symptoms of phone phobia are a fear of making phone calls and anxiety when on the phone. And we will use that logic in a sec when we find ways how to stop being scared of talking on the you think youve got phone phobia. youve got phone phobia, you experience negative thoughts. Once you know the cause you can find your personal phone phobia cure and you can stop being scared of talking on the Im asked to help someone with anxiety I always start by trying to find the underlying youre not sure why youre afraid of phone calls, use this insight to see whats happening in your own Hide in a hole. And make the phone call there. You dont have to dive naked into a phone call.

hey guys it’s Kelsey and happy Thursday today we are going to be talking about a very common issue phobia and that is talking on the phone and it’s kind of finding that blood people have these phobias about conversing on telephone because we carry around our phones pretty much everywhere we go it’s pretty much next to us when we sleep at night and then look in the morning and the first thing that we check we live on our phones everything the our phones know so much about us that it’s actually borderline creepy but yeah it’s so hard to actually pick it up and call somebody or receive an unexpected phone call and you’re not sure how to you know just feel kind of like surprised and shocked and there’s someone who I need to talk to right now at this moment and you’re something prepared whereas a text message you can just be like oh okay respond when I have the time or when I think of a good answer or response or get myself together this is one of the issues that you know goes through both people who have mental illness like anxiety or depression or what have you um and normal people who are otherwise mentally healthy and they you know it’s something that I feel like it’s probably just so unnatural to do as a human being and that’s because we we most of our conversation with somebody is 93 percent nonverbal so it’s the tone of voice it’s the body language and oftentimes obviously you can’t see someone on the phone so you lose the body language and oftentimes tone can be a little hard to read as well um so it kind of you kind of feel blinded when you’re talking to somebody I know I do I know I need to pick up on every little social cue and I like to mirror people as well when conversing with them so I kind of feel yeah I feel like I’m I’m going in it like I like you know I I know half of the story I hear half of the conversation so that’s why makes me a little bit anxious but even even if you don’t have you know social anxiety like me I feel like a lot of people have this issue I mean I know when I’m with friends or my family whenever we’re like ordering pizza or something no one wants to be the one who has to come the pizza place like oh no you do it or you know I’ll pick up the pizza if you call it in or I’m paying for so can you call like no one wants to do it and it’s so strange again because we’re so on our phones so here are my tips for conquering phone phobia or least becoming a bit more comfortable when speaking on the phone having being a little bit less anxious when talking and it’s going to take a little bit too it’s not one of those overnight things something kind of have to practice like any other skill but you know once you get it down it should tremendously increase your happiness in your work life and in your social life so my first tip is writing out a script or having a good opening line and is something I do when I’m talking to somebody who maybe is a potential job offer or is someone who’s a little bit and trying to impress or someone a bit superior than me you know that I’m not as comfortable I want to be a bit more impressive too so I’ll just write either a script but oftentimes finance scripts can be a little bit too scripted and appear fake and so I’ll write down a good opening for sign like hi this is Kelsey buh buh bah and I’ll do like bolt points of things that I definitely want to say or things I want to cover um or you know please that and then maybe I’ll put like a good closing line too because sometimes I feel like I don’t know how to properly end a conversation I’ll just be like okay yeah all right bye and then it just kind of feels awkward so I have a good closing line that sounds nice and perfectly you know it caps like the conversation kind of like the conclusion of a of a of an essay but running out of script or an opening line was so beneficial to me because I felt like I had more reinforcements going in I wasn’t going in as blind and that if I did find that there was a long conversation I didn’t want to say I could just pick it up somewhere and kind of have a good spot to go in and there’s having a good opener because I feel like whenever I’m on I just I the answer and I just blew like I’m just like oh crap why am i calling who is this Who am I so the good opener is just a good thing just right off the paper and then get back to you know what you’re talking about when you finally come come to in your head my next tip is um I guess the type of immersion therapy which often times I don’t really like in this case I do and that is you know kind of practicing essentially you know if you’re in a group of people in ordering pizza be the one to order the pizza do little phone calls like that just really start to immersions immerse yourself in making those little tiny little practice calls basically recently I was calling up a food place whatever and I was like oh yes I want to come pick up an order for delivery and they’re like what and I was like what I was like oh I messed up completely and then I recompose myself and I said oh yeah sorry I meant an order for delivery of this whatever um but it’s like low pressure it was like a pizza place or whatever you know they’re not going to be like oh this person is not smart or hold it against you it’s gonna be like oh these people are giving me money so I’ll make her pizza um you know it’s not gonna be like someone who’s print your thing about hiring you so it’s good to go in with those little phone calls that are really low pressure and if you kind of flub up a little bit it’s like no big deal I mean II feel full if you flip up in other conversations it is no big deal everyone’s human actually recently today I had a phone call with someone on a production that I’m working on who is a bit more you know has a lot more experience than I do and so it was a bit of AI wanted to sound a bit more impressive and we had a good phone conversation and then afterwards um a few minutes later he called me back I was weird and an answer and it was a butt dive and her just him like his phone in his pocket whatever going on not and I’m like see this is somebody who like I thought was just like oh like they have all their like you know they have all their crap together like they would never like screw up on a phone call whatever will blah and I was like but like he butt dialed me like everyone I kind of you know it’s like it’s still no big deal like everyone’s human if you chip on your words or if you kind of draw a blank for a moment that no one’s gonna you know crucify you it’s still not so just people I think everyone is kind of aware the phones can be a little bit of a tense situation sometimes my third tip is to before you make a phone call feeling quite anxious make sure you recall past phone conversations that went well most of the time they’re going to be most phone calls because really I work all I knew phone calls that ended in death and destruction and terribleness that or anything bad that really affected my life up to this point I would just like you know flub a word here and there but you know nothing that was detrimental to my life and that would be a nice good calming thing for me being like you know what like I trip over my words here and there but the purpose of the phone call went through it was fine I made a good impression on the people I mean the people were cool whatever we had to get done got done so it was a good successful phone call and I just have to keep telling myself that every time I get anxious before I’m making a phone call or before or when someone’s calling me that I get anxious about my last tip is to use cognitive behavioral therapy exercises to help combat the negative associations with talking on the phone so if youth make a phone call that is stressful to you write down on paper why it’s so stressful what about the phone call is making you so so worked up is it you don’t want to sound stupid you don’t want to you know not you’re talking about you don’t want to you know feel like you’re bothering somebody whatever you’re feeling write them down and that way you can identify them and it’s the easiest way to overcome those feelings and emotions I’m a big fan of CBT it’s the number one thing that helped me get over my anxieties and you know my low points so I had to recommend um CBT to anybody else if you can’t see actual therapists for financial reasons or to scheduling reasons and just try those exercises of writing down your feeling the positive thoughts to combat them that’s such a great way to help identify and then correct your negative thinking about these situations so those are my quick tips on conquering phone phobia if you guys want to hear more about this topic I can totally make new video I mean this is I feel like it’s just the tip of the iceberg there’s so much more to talk about with this but you know I didn’t want to make this video like half an hour long I don’t know that I can talk a bit so I wanted it to be as quick and easy and painless as possible so here are these four tips and I hope that they are helpful just to close off this video I want to say that this is a very common fear so don’t feel like you’re alone or that it’s weird that you don’t like talking on the phone or you have a phobia of it um I mean you can be a totally not shy person and still have this phobia it’s one of the top 100 phobias that people have I mean it’s nestled right between um fear pregnancy and for your pain so those are two very big fears people have so this is very real it is something well documented and well researched so you’re not alone and there is definite ways you can conquer it and feel more comfortable talking on the phone it might not always be like your favorite thing to do it’s not my favorite thing to do I’m much more preferred texting and email and not having to you know guess people’s body language if you enjoyed this video please give it a like or comment down below with your personal experiences of phone phobia or your personal ways that you got over phone phobia if you want to hear more tips and tricks I’d be immensely happy and healthy please subscribe to my channel I posted videos every Tuesday and Thursday and I know I’ve not been posting a lot of videos on Tuesday recently and that’s because for some reason there’s some force so does not want me to get videos out between my camera or having issues I’m a computer having issues I have not been able to post a good Tuesday video in the past few weeks but I will I swear it’s coming back up I have pretty much my whole video done for Tuesday already and then of course what there’s one meet on Thursdays I always post um most of the time I’m human but my Thursday videos are about mental health and happiness quick tips and things like that and my choose the video is a bit more freeform challenges as twenty five and twenty five series things like that so if you enjoy this video please become a member of our little family and subscribe I hope you guys have a great week I’m sending you all the good vibes and I’ll see you on Tuesday textile bye.
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I believe that fear gets way too much airplay you know I think so many people say what people don’t take action because they have too much fear or fear is holding people back and I think this is so common in our language it’s almost the point where it’s almost comedic it’s ridiculous it’s not like well what are they fearful of what are they so scared of you know we we live in the modern world right now where there’s not all these impulsive fears that are are driven by a physical reality to be safe you know not being chased by animals that are trying to kill us often right so most of the fears that we actually have are just contemplative thoughts that we’re rerunning too often and we’re associating so much pain to that now becomes convenient oh it’s fear as if some fear is some big unknowable scary awful thing well mostly it’s not most fear is just bad management of our own mental faculties it’s not an impulsive physical thing generating in our brain telling us to you know fight flight or flee and everyone wants to use that an excuse you know we still have all these you know biological psychologists or people running around saying well it’s just an impulsive thing that people can’t understand or or or be conscious of right it’s the unconscious fears it’s just wiping us out it’s like get over it neuroscience has shown like we have much more powerful capabilities than most of us think that we do and the reality is most fear it once you understand what it actually is and that usually is a contemplative process and once they understand what it is then it’s like oh we can overcome it because what is it then I mean what what is fear what are we so scared of what’s gonna hurt us what is this thing that we fear is going to bring so much pain in our lives ever thought about what is it what is the thing that we’re so scared that’s gonna bring in all this pain to our lives I remember figuring this out for myself and when I did I wasn’t so scared anymore because sometimes you know the things once you understand them more they’re not so terrifying when something becomes knowable you can develop competency around it once you can develop competency around it then you can develop confidence around it there’s this old thing in psychology we call the competence confidence loop the more you understand something the more you have in that area same thing with anything that does happen too impulsively generate some fear in yourself well now once you understand what it is you can deal with it better because what we’re all fearing is basically three types of pain three areas that we might experience pain in our lives and once we understand that we can reorient our lot our mindset around those things and no longer be frustrated or stopped by fear the first thing that we fear pain in in our lives is what I call loss pain loss pain is well if I change my life or I do this new thing I’ll experience loss and because I experience loss I don’t want to do it so I’m scared to try it cuz I might lose something that I like I care for I adore I might if I go and make that big change in my life I I might lose my job I might lose my relationship with my spouse I might lose my connection with my kids I might lose a passion I might lose a benefit right I remember I wanted to go and start my own business everyone was generating all this fear and you might think we’ll be careful you know this is very dangerous but if you don’t you don’t want to quit your job and lose all that security you have you’re gonna I mean what about your 401k Brendan you’re gonna lose your 401k I mean all these things we think we’re gonna fear and the reality was part of that was true as I thought more about the situation I was concerned I was fearful that I would lose the security I had that the job provided I would lose that steady paycheck we all want I would lose that predictability of my career path I would lose that nice process of having managers around to kind of coach and consult me into higher levels of performance I would lose the peer set I love my co workers I lose some of the work that I loved I would lose that great lunch and cafeteria you know it’s like you think of all these thing you’re gonna lose so you don’t make a decision to quit same thing like people are going to try and you know quit you know smoking or they’re going to try and start a diet they’re fearful that they’re gonna lose that that smoking break that gives them that peace and that comfort and that that sense of calmness from breathing in deep even though they’re bringing in death you know they they’re fearful oh well if I change my diet I’m gonna lose those foods that I love so much so I’m not gonna change and that’s what people do they’re fearing loss so part of reorienting our lives you start focusing on the things that instead we’re gonna lose but we’re gonna gain yeah I might lose my security for the short term but over long term I might have more freedom I might gain freedom I I might lose that coaching and that that that person who’s gonna develop me in terms of that organizational structure but over here I’m going to gain greater challenges I’m gonna grow faster because I’m gonna be doing things faster on my own oh you know I’m gonna lose that 401 K yeah but I’m gonna make a million dollars over here you know focusing on those games see what happens in the in the fearful mind it starts asking this question what if and it follows that phrase with a negative statement what if this terrible thing happens what if this terrible thing happens what if this terrible thing happens and we generate and we stew with in our gut these acids and these fears that literally trick our mind into thinking we can’t change but once you understand loss pain is something you’re dealing with start focusing more on the things that you will gain and you’re getting over a hurdle the second thing that we fear so much is what I call process pain process pain is changing and in anything it’s going to be hard the process of change itself is hard let alone what will lose doing something new is hard when I went to think about starting my new business I was terrified I’m like it’s gonna be hard I don’t know how to do those things yet I don’t have any competency in those areas yet I’m not sure how this will go I’m gonna have to work 24/7 starting this business I’m gonna have to work really hard for three years I might not be able to get any support and help the process is scary so we don’t change I mean the same thing for that person who thinks of quitting smoking they’re not thinking of the freedom of quitting smoking and living healthier they’re not thinking of being able to breathe and get up the stairs they’re thinking or the process of dealing with quitting the addiction that withdrawals the frustration the shakes the addictions the nicotine and how challenging that is the person trying to start the new diet it’s the same thing for them process pain they’re thinking oh my gosh I’m gonna have to go shop in new shopping places to get fresher food oh my gosh I’m gonna have to learn to cook new meals oh my gosh I’m gonna have to you know start exercising oh how hard is that gonna be and we think of all the things are gonna be hard in doing those things but part of the mastery of life is learning to see change as a game learning to see challenges as something that we can joyously enter to become the joyous master in the processes of our lives to understand yes they might be challenging but challenge is good challenge will develop us challenge will help us reach our highest self challenge will help us live that fully charged life that that process it can be engaging and fun and exciting and new it can bring variety and spice into our lives we can look forward to the process of change and when we switch our mind that way we start to change more often and the third thing that most people are actually fearing is they’re fearing what I call outcome pain they’re scared that what if what if they lose all these things in changing what if they go through all this terrifying difficult work and then the grass is not greener the outcome is no better than I had at the very beginning I was terrified that with my business I thought oh my gosh what if I begin this business and I do all these things and I work my butt off but I don’t make it I I don’t earn any more money I don’t have a better lifestyle I don’t grow as fast what if on the other side of the fence it’s not any better and we sit and we think what if it’s not better and I would have to go through all that and if we’re stuck there thinking that way if we never change so part of the maturity and the mastery of life is realizing that instead of focusing on the outcomes that are negative we can start thinking and dreaming about and visualizing and really giving our attention our focus and powers of attraction into those things that would be powerful and good and satisfying fulfilling happy joyous on the other side of that fence the things that would turn out to be wonderful and magnificent if we change their life if I quit the smoking I’m finally gonna be able to feel good again I’m not gonna have to be addictive to some small little thing that’s killing millions of people that’s just feeding these huge organizations that are killing people over and over and over again I’m not gonna perpetuate a disease in my body or in my family I’m not gonna make my everybody carry on my addictions oh you know what in that new area too I’m gonna feel fit and happy and vibrant and energized on my own again oh when I start that diet you know what I’m gonna really enjoy tasting some new foods because I am tasted good food for a long time I’m going to actually enjoy going out with people again I’m gonna enjoy shopping again to find clothes actually fit my body you start thinking about all the things that will be positive from that change and when you do that you start to master your mind and direct it better because you know what when you’re obsessing about loss pain process pain and outcome pain guess what the more you focus on those the more you obsess about those types of pain your brain and your body goes no don’t do that I don’t want to experience that because we built and we’ve been gifted with this incredible contraption here that is unbelievably driven to avoid the pain and when you realize that then we have to stop suffering in our mind and stewing in our mind about the pain we might experience if we do the very things that would improve our lives you and I both know what would improve our lives why aren’t we doing it because somewhere there we’ve probably associated a lot of lost process or outcome pain to it and today might be a great day to sit down and say what do I really want my life why have I not been progressing faster and when you start exploring that question of why I’ve not been progressing faster you might discover loss process and pain at work and you’re gonna flip it now and focusing on the gains the joys and the positive outcomes and when you start to do that you’ll find yourself being that joyous master you’ll find yourself getting further ahead in life and you might just find that life can feel fully charged once again.
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