Treatment For Shyness

Our complete treatment for shyness guide. You only get one life stop wasting it away with shyness. Get a markable difference in your social life and overcome shyness within 7 days. How crazy is that?

When I was a teenager, I was afflicted with terrible shyness. Not in every context or with all people—mostly just with girls. Not unlike millions of other adolescent males, when in the presence of a girl I found attractive, I would become tongue tied, awkward, and lose all self-confidence.

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Things will not work for us if we are shy. People like confident people to be around. Make sure that we like ourself, and if there are things we dont like change them. What does it feel like? The Shyness and Social Anxiety found it at this to Overcome Social Anxiety and It helps everyone in overcoming shyness and be confident feel that you “When I was a teenager, I was afflicted with terrible shyness.

treatment for shyness

 Getting Help For Chronic Shyness And Social Disorder

People in this category see shyness as a problem, but can be determined to overcome their shyness.

According to Dr. Bernardo Carducci, who has studied shyness for several decades, 91% of shy people say theyve consciously tried to get over their shyness, while 67% say they seek out social situations such as parties and clubs despite their discomfort.

Some shy people compensate by excelling at work or choosing a career gives them a specific role to play. Many performers and world leaders fall into this category, including Abraham Lincoln, Elton John, and Johnny Depp. Richard Branson, who was so shy as a child he hid behind his mother when being introduced to adults, has explained, I had to train myself into becoming more of an extrovert.

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treatment for shynessBut if shyness is having a direct negative affect on your life, then counselling could could certainly help. They are distressing and can very much affect your enjoyment of life and also cause problems for your family and loved ones. This uncertainty can lead to tension, anxiety, and, ultimately, avoidance of social contact. I havent had childhood or adolescence problems, trauma or bad parenting. I have always been so shy, since I was a child and I still am. They are people, and people arent perfect.

hey there guys I want to talk to you a little bit about CBT for social anxiety or cognitive behavioral therapy for social anxiety social anxiety I’m sure I don’t need to tell you it can be overwhelming and getting over it to be blunt it takes perseverance it took me personally it took me 11 years to formulate my approach and get over that bridge sort of becoming free from this problem in CBT for social anxiety it’s one approach that’s used pretty frequently in the medical world not talking to a therapist or counselor for some people is effective although one course of treatment is not usually long enough to recover completely its take meant taking many many years to reach the level of social anxiety or shyness that you’re suffering from and cognitive behavioral therapy for social anxiety it’s certainly not a quick fix solution a therapists or counselors they’re not always easy to connect with leaving you feeling that they haven’t really listened to you in one third piece I saw used to sit at an unusual angle from me taking notes as I talked and when I stopped talking he’d kind of wave his arm for me start talking again and it wasn’t exactly helpful the history of CBT it’s evolved over time and the basics of it remain the same essentially it’s a collection of theories and techniques that you have to sort of put forth an effort to change your life by putting yourself into the uncomfortable situations that trigger your social anxiety essentially you know you’re numbing yourself maybe that’s not a good way of phrasing it you’re putting yourself in the situation that causes social anxiety and overtime the effect is the social anxiety intensity will become less and less you know a lot of times you’ll be given a sheet of exercises for an injury but you don’t do them as a regular as you’re told they’re not going to help you no actually you’re going to reinjure that body part you know individuals of social anxiety they’re often frightened to take these big leaps with cognitive behavioral therapy where they put themselves in these situations and if you’re not fully committed to it and you just sort of like throwing yourself into the situation and purposefully experiencing the social anxiety as a means of getting used to it or adapting to it and you don’t do it continuously you just want to dread it more and more it starts to become something that you want to avoid more and more now in theory you know cognitive behavioral therapy looks at your thinking style it analyzes your thinking style and it sort of studies your thinking errors some CBT therapists will look at your history delve into your childhood in question your core beliefs and how they were formed and how you know all of this sort of led to your thinking errors and you know I go into you know ways of thinking or sort of incorrect ways of rationalizing social situations in other videos so I’m not going to go too deep into that but you know when you go for these CBT sessions these therapists they help work through your key problems and symptoms of social anxiety and they focus on what I like to call hot thoughts and you know basically in each key situation this strategy sort of rationalizes these hot thoughts and by high thoughts I mean negative thoughts or thoughts that sort of instill just a sense of panic in real life you know CBT for social anxiety it doesn’t offer much empathy you know these therapists they’re not in your shoes oftentimes they don’t suffer from social anxiety you know there are exceptions and I’m certainly not against cognitive behavioral therapy altogether I know it sounds like I’m pretty biased in this video there are a lot of merits to CBT certainly helps you understand your thought it doesn’t really give you at least in my experience much of an action plan for your own life you know ultimately you have to learn to control the social situations and interactions accepting fear is something you can handle and move beyond you can have a life full of possibilities by taking advantage of my own experience my own research what I do is I supplement the CBT with an array of strategies that are really actionable in any social situations you know let’s talk about how you can work CBT into your own life well you’re certainly a unique individual the best approach to applying CBT is to combine it as I said with other strategies because you’ll find that some methods work better for you than others and supplementing your social anxiety therapy you know maybe you’ve tried things like hypnotherapy or reading books about the topic maybe you’ve struggled in forming your own way to deal best with social anxiety you have to face your own social anxiety issues on your own terms but I’ve been there and much of social anxiety is universal in the way it’s experienced and the way your brain responds with this habit of negative thinking so if you’re asking yourself CBT is going to give you your life back you know the way they define this therapy they define it by saying you know whether or not the reduction in social anxiety is significant it’s not ultimately a solution they’re really just looking to minimize your symptoms as much as humanly possible the time you’re given for CBT therapy sessions it can be limited and when you reach the maximum number of weeks you’re sort of back trying to put the theory into practice and this is difficult when you’ve spent a decade or more getting to where you are now some social anxiety sufferers find they’ve tried various courses they’re looking for you know the one that works limited sessions for CBT they’re unlikely to leave you walking out of the room you know wanting to shout that you’re cured a very simple coping mechanism for certain situations with social anxiety is when you’re feeling high levels of anxiety this is just when you’re by yourself this is when you’re anticipating a social situation or anticipating that anxiety one nice meditative action to do if if it’s a valid option for you is to look out the window and you find a cloud in the sky and sort of using your own imagination you know imagine those unhelpful thoughts that come into your mind those thoughts that you’re not good enough those paranoid negative thoughts you know those self deprecating comments and labels that you place upon yourself try to project those thoughts onto a cloud in the sky and make sure those thoughts sort of drifting away and you know just diffusing throughout the sky and I know this sounds a little silly but it gives you something to practice and take action upon and as you really try to focus on this believe it or not you’re actually training your brain to push away negative thoughts you know you don’t need to keep all these thoughts in your head you know certainly these negative thoughts can be absolutely overwhelming and most of the time they cause your panic you know themselves so it’s important to learn how to let unhelpful thoughts go if it helps to think about a thought and rationalize it with you know some of the strategies I’ll teach you then definitely do so but sometimes the thought is about a situation you can’t change and it’s just unhelpful then you need to start finding ways to essentially throw these thoughts out of your head and don’t waste another moment you know just focusing on them and trying to figure out where you fit into their equation I want you to check out social anxiety fix calm right now because I offer a free video series that’s going to help you out a lot you know this video just sort of touches on CBT very lightly but um I want to give you actionable strategies and techniques that you can implement into everyday life and these are things that can supplement ongoing therapy you know or other methods that you may be implementing for your social anxiety these are you know actionable things that you can practice daily and they really build your mental muscles for lack of a better word to fight off social anxiety so check out this free video series by going to social anxiety fix calm right now and I’ll see you there take care bye.

Today I’m going to teach you how to eliminate
shyness in 60 seconds.Literally, that’s as long as it takes if you
do these 3 steps. So this is going to be useful to you if you’ve
ever been out because I know I have. And then, you, all of a sudden, just gotten
trapped in your head.
And, maybe, some of you left the conversation,
maybe it was that someone you did know entered.Whatever it was, all of a sudden, the things
that you have to say don’t seem as cleveror smart or funny, or even worth expressing,
and your hands, you don’t know where to put them. You can’t put them here, you can’t put them
here. It just feels uncomfortable.
So I want to help you dispel that, so that
you don’t hesitate and wind up missing outon opportunities to connect with people that
you care about.The first step is going to be this. When that moment of shyness hits and the hands
don’t know where to go, you feel that you’vegot nothing worthwhile to say, instantly,
recognize this and stop trying to do anything,and just exist. In fact, let yourself suck.
What I mean by this is you can be boring.When I feel this happen to me, it happens
sometimes when I’m out at a bar or a cluband I’ve been separated from my friends that
I find myself alone and feeling like I don’treally want to jump back in the conversation
with anyone, but what I used to do was go,”Hey, you’ve got to; you’ve got to be fun. This is your channel and you’re on
Charisma on Command. You got to do it,” and I’d force myself in
that moment.
Giving yourself 20 to 30 seconds to stand
there and go, “You know what?I’m gonna suck.I don’t feel like doing this right now. “It’s such an amazing reboot. So what it looks like is I’ll be out and I
will, literally, my hands will drop to my side.
I’m not gonna smile.I’m not gonna make or create eye contact. I might wander a little bit and I’m gonna
do as little as possible. And what this does is it frees me because
what shyness is when you don’t feel like thethings you have to say are enough, when you
don’t feel like the way that you feel is enough,or good enough to engage with other people.
What happens when you allow yourself to be
boring is you give yourself that worst casescenario, right?Nothing is worse than this out in a bar or
club or a networking event, right?And what that does is it eliminates the need
to perform anything, and for me, this onlytakes 20 to 30 seconds before I feel myself
reset.And all of a sudden, I don’t feel like I should
do anything after about 20 30 seconds; I kindof feel like I want to because, now, I’m boring
myself. Well, I just go home. But at this point, you know you fully reset
when you feel that switch from “I’ve got to,I need to do this,” to “I kind of want to
“Caveat here, this doesn’t mean that you pull out
your phone and you text on your phone for 30 seconds.That’s the opposite. That’s you trying to look busy, right?That’s the opposite. It doesn’t mean that you go up against the
bar or stand there and try to look cool.
You try to look powerful.You actually release the judgements of everybody
else. If they’re gonna think you’re boring totally
fine. But you don’t try to look like anything.
You let yourself just go slack.Breathe deep, 30 seconds later, you’re going
to feel a massive difference, and that’s whenstep 2 comes in. So this is the Reboot Step 1. Step 2 is when we want to get started on the
right foot and you’ve heard me say this before,but the best way to do this is not necessarily
to jump in a conversation, but in my experience,is to go to your body.
The problem with shyness is that the voices
in your head that are telling you that whatyou have to say isn’t good enough or that
you should just shut up, that your hands arein the wrong place.Those voices are more numerous and louder
than your actual voice. You’re not speaking your interior, not exterior. We got to get you out of your head and the
body is a great place to go.
I focus on three things.I’m normally concerned with my arms. I need to move these guys around, for sure. My voice, and when I say my voice, I mean
my whole vocal apparatus talking down throughmy diaphragm, through the pelvic floor.
The deeper I can breathe, the lower I can make my resonance, the better I’m going to feel.And then, of course, lastly, once I’d get
these things going, my face, my eyes, andmy smile. The way I do this depends on the environment. If I’m at a club, I want to go to a place
where I can move and make all of these thingsbe as vibrant as possible; that’s the dance
floor for me.
So I go to the dance floor, 20 30 seconds,
I dance, I will make noise, I would yell tomy friends, whatever it is.That’s going to make me feel better. That’s going to make me smile, right?20 30 seconds of that, I’m in a great mood. What if I’m not at a club?What if you’re not at a club?Because we feel shy in lots of places.
Well, let’s say you’re in an office, do it
to the degree that you can.So if you’re in an office, you’re sitting
in a meeting, and you’re, “Okay, I’m feeling shy. Reset. Okay.
“Arms my arms need to open up.Go out, expose the underside of your body,
just let it go. So, if not your body, if you’re gonna expose
the underside of your arm, that’s gonna makeyou feel a little bit more at ease. Your voice, to the degree that you can, if
you have anything, try them in, but if youcan’t, you can just hum it or breathing deep.
That’s going to engage sort of these vibrational
things that I have found are key, actually,to feeling good.And then, lastly, the face. If somebody’s talking, you can look them in
the eye. You can send positive, you know, feedback,
with your smile, with your eyes.
That kind of stuff is going to get you back
to a place that you want to be.Worst case scenario, you’re in a 3 person
conversation. These two people are talking and you just
feel completely left out. You can’t touch any of them, you can’t get
big, what do you do?Well, what you can.
You can stretch your arms, okay?That’s step 1, not bad.With your voice, if you need to, you can actively
listen. “Oh, yeah, cool. Oh, he hadn’t said that to me.
Interesting, right?”You get your voice going.You get your vibrations going and I’m telling
you, it makes a difference. And, then, of course, your eyes and your smile,
look them in the eye. Give them some active feedback with this.
The more that you move, the more easy that
is going to feel.So you get all of these three things in place,
which brings me to step 3. We’ve used up, basically, the full minute;
first half is 3 set, second half is gettingourselves off on a good foot by getting into
the body, the third thing is sealing it, becausewe don’t want to go back into our head. So, to seal it, we find the most receptive,
nearest person that you can go speak to, and,typically, you want to use something that
is prepared beforehand.
And what I mean by that is that I don’t want
you to going back into your head and going,”Crap, what do I say now?What do I say to him on the networking thing?It’s so dumb to ask what you do.I know what he does. “Don’t go back in your head. So, typically, it’s good to have prepared
for these situations that you find yourself,something common that you can say to strike
up conversation.
It didn’t depend wherever you are.When I was in Costa Rica, I was 19 years old
when I arrived there. I was a shy kid. I didn’t speak, really, any Spanish, and I
have found it hard to connect, quite frankly.
But one of the things that I did inadvertently
was I would ask people because I wanted toso bad, I would ask for directions when I
already knew where I was going.So I would be on my way to the photocopier
at a class and say, “Hey, do you know wherethe photocopier is?”And something interesting happened as I did
this. Some people would just tell me I got to practice
my Spanish. Some people, though, would tell me, and then,
walk with me and ask me questions about where.
I was from, what I was doing, and, hey, did
I want to come out and hang out to the barwith them that night?And what I found was, because I was just a
different kind of person in this small town itwas called Heredia I went to La UNA, write
it in these comments if you’ve been there.I’m sure some of you have. But what I found was that because I was different,
people were trying to reach out to me. Now, I get that that’s not what you have,
but what I can give you are two killer preparedlines that are gonna help you in most situations,
like 95%.
First one is, if you do not know the person,
and that’s very simple, you walk up to themat this point, you’ve broken your shyness
to say, “Hey, what’s up?I don’t think I’vemet you yet.I am Charlie, may I have your name?”And what that does, that “I don’t think I’ve
met you yet,” is so powerful. You could say, “Hi,” that works, but this
is better, because what that communicatesis I know a lot of people here and this is
an environment in which people are sayinghi, so you should be polite and friendly. It works very, very well.
Take that one.Use it with people you don’t know. If you’re in conversation with people you
do know, or maybe someone you just met, andyou can’t re introduce yourself, one of the
very simple things is to just take the phrase,”Hey, this is totally random, but. .
.” and
then say whatever you want, and specifically,speak to a passion, speak to something you
like. So, say you like books and you’re fascinated
by the kinds of books that people read, whichyou might say is in conversation, “Hey, this
is totally random, but have you read any goodbooks lately?”I always like to ask people, right? or “Hey,
this is totally random, but have you actuallyseen any good movies?I’m looking for one that I should see this
weekend. “Whatever it is, pick something that you’re
interested in because, then, that topic ofconversation is more likely be the one that
you’re interested in.
So, that is how you break shyness.I wanted to give you something just for this
situation when you’re actually uncomfortable. I realize there’s things you can do beforehand. You’ve got a whole conversation at this point
to handle, but the more that you are out ofyour head and in your voice, shyness will
disappear, right?You cannot feel shy when you are exterior
to yourself, only when you are judging yourselfand wondering how other people are judging
you, and this is meant to break that state.
So, I hope that you found it helpful.If you are interested in 60 seconds to get
confident, I have like 60 seconds to get tomost of the emotions that I want to do, and
there are tweaks, depending on where I’m tryingto go, but if you’re curious in confidence
that’s something that I use before these videos. This is something that I do when I go out,
this is something that I would do if I, youknow, were speaking publicly. If you want to get that, go ahead, click the
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If you’re on mobile, click that little “i”
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I believe that I can send you an email, I’mnot sure, whenever we do a new upload. So, I hope that you guys have found this helpful. I hope that this tip is good.
I know shyness can be a really, really daunting
thing; I’ve dealt with it a lot in my ownlife, and this isn’t intended to eradicate
it from your entirety of your life, but itis how you can stop it in the moment when
you have it, which I find is really the thingthat most of us want to do most.So, I hope that you found this helpful and
I look forward to seeing you in the next video. . .

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