This Will Change How You View Social Anxiety! (And Awkwardness, Nervousness And Insecurity) Video



Social Anxiety


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hey this is still from comfort zone crusher and I would have not thought that I’ve actually gonna say those words out loud on a video again but here I am recording another video and if you have been following me for a while you know either hit the channel or you know over the email list and you know I haven’t recorded a new video in over six months and there’s a very specific specific reason you know I’m now coming back today and recording this video so stick with me for just a little bit so the last time I have recorded video was probably six months ago and at this product I’m recorded the last videos around social confidence my eight week online program which is read and as when a ton of research into this program is really the evidence backed up system to completely overcome social anxiety and develop as the name says confidence in social situations and that was my last program over created and after this are basically retired I’m Sturridge hire I’m not fully coming back I’m just coming back one last time because after people went through the course through social confidence I’ve got the best feedback I’ve ever received on any program ever created and a bunch of stuff is in this program that I’ve never really anyway before and it’s very different from anything I’ve ever shared on before so a lot of people asked me number one people who win the course would said you know please go ahead and share this with more people and other people consistently ask like hey are you gonna open up again are you gonna relaunch social confidence so now I finally decided to open the doors to social conference one last time so the door is gonna open January 17th so next week Wednesday I’m going to open the doors one more time so for confidence and then close it five days afterwards on Sunday which is five days after the 17th um and now I thought so I thought about how can I kind of like show people the value of the program how can I show people it’s really in the course and how it’s so different from anything else not only you seen from me but probably also what you’ve ever heard anywhere else when it comes to social anxiety and confidence so I decided to simply release some of the course video and that’s what’s gonna happen ice a couple of days here in the channel today I’m gonna release one of the first videos of the course and this is really laying the foundation and I think in the video I’m gonna you’ve got a huge something that’s really gonna create a very it’s got really gonna create a difference in you experience of social anxiety awkwardness and nervousness and after watching this what a lot of people said was that they really started to experience social anxiety in a very different way or nervousness or awkwardness or a lack of confidence however you want to describe it so go ahead enjoy this video also the heads up on Thursday I’m gonna release the next video and really the next video in this video I’m going to deconstruct social anxiety some have never really done on the channel to such a detailed level and this is probably some of the best stuff I’ve ever set in this video coming on Thursday I’m not to toot my own horn even friends work she went over the course called me afterwards said oh my god this was very insightful and we this really changed how they think about you know being nervous and insecure and these type of things around other people so especially watch of the Thursday video I think it’s even tremendously better than today’s video today so he’s only pretty good so stick with me for Thursday as well and then on Monday two days before the course opens I’m actually gonna share with you and this is not gonna be on I’m actually gonna share with you coaching is a life coaching session how I coached someone around social anxiety using one of the tools of the course the so called experience flow also gonna share the tool with you on Monday on my email list so I’m actually you can actually gonna see me coaching someone in the past I’ve charged $10,000 plus to coach people you’re just gonna see me coaching someone from beginning to end in a specific situation and the specification is so for everyone who summons struggles round you know cooler people starts become insecure nervous around cooler people this video on Monday where coach number would be especially for you because this is the big topic of this video and you know I talked to the person who’s gonna be in the video and he said it’s fine if I release it however I promise to not release it publicly on so for this reason only people who are in the email lists will actually get to see it so for this reason click on the link below and there is scription you can sign up there getting the waiters for social confidence be the first to hear when the course launches and also get a chance to view me doing coaching next Monday so I think it’s gonna be pretty exciting as well and then Wednesday I’m finally gonna reopen the doors to a social conference probably for the last time so for this reason if you’re interested I really highly encourage you to stick around and enjoy my last little appearance here on it’s going to be today it’s gonna be a Thursday and then after this probably I’m gonna retire for good and at the new brigade of of comfort zone crusher coaches takeover which are by the way Michael and David some of you heard of them see the podcast that we started so there’s a lot of things in the works it’s just not my face necessarily on it anymore so for this reason I’m really excited about this it’s kind of like my grand finale if you will some other reason enjoy the video it’s really gonna make a difference how we experience social anxiety and now I’m really gonna shut up and let you enjoy the video hopes and then you’re gonna see me on Thursday for the next video and then next week Wednesday we’re gonna open the doors to social copper so enjoy guys welcome to week one and mortal one of social conference and once again super excited that you’re here and I’m really pumped to get into this right now and in this first week what we’re going to do is we’re going to define then deconstruct so things I and this is incredibly important because when I say the word sort of anxiety and you say the word social anxiety we might say the same word but our experiences are at least slightly different for this readings so important to deconstruct it and define it you know my case when I think of social anxiety then a very specific experience comes to mind that really characterized social anxiety for me and this is when I went to my first TEDx event I’ve ever went to and this is probably know five or six years ago it was like years before I actually gave my own TEDx talk so go to Subban even before hand and slowly slightly nervous and anxious in my mind with thoughts like oh my god you know what if I don’t find anyone to talk to what if I don’t fit in and then arrived there and you know there’s people everywhere I’m just like pacing around someone finding a way to check people out but I didn’t have the courage you know this was way before I did my first comfort zone challenge so didn’t we have to courage to talk to someone so just walk around and then finally I ended up at the spec free cupcake stand and then I get a cupcake mrs.Groh next to me and we start chatting and then we share a cupcake and now I’m finally talking to someone but now what starts to happen so mine goes crazy you know am I saying the right thing am i cool enough am I good enough you know initially like me and my likeable am I saying the right things and I’m trying to be funny but it’s not really funny charlie witty but I’m not really witty and then it’s kind of awkward then after some time I don’t know what to say anymore and then the conversation drizzles out and she just walked off and I still remember this very clearly and then from that moment on I was super self conscious were focused on myself thoughts were going through my head like I don’t fit in here anyways you know why would anyone talk to me I’m like the youngest person here I’d have anything interesting to contribute and then just wander off and just wander through the wind event and then at the end event you wait like five or six hours later this is after party it’s somewhat fought my way through this entire event that’s the after party but at this point of time I’m so caught up in my head I’m so self conscious at so many uncomfortable experiences that I don’t even make it to the party anymore but instead I go outside of the building set it from the building sit down the stairs just beat myself up why can’t I just enjoy myself why can’t I just fit in and just you know talk to us you know someone else like everyone else and I literally had tears in my eyes and then just went home so there you see this is what social anxieties for me into certain accept there might be certain experience that you can relate to right maybe at the beginning what triggers it for you for me it triggered being a big crowd not known how to talk to people this triggered for me this feeling of nervousness then when I was talking to someone had thoughts in our mind like does the other person actually like me right so this was part of my experience the feeling was like an uncomfortable feeling my chest area right and then lastly after all of us came together my last behavior was that I just had left the situation instead of staying there you know so this is my experience of social anxiety with all those different aspects and there might be certain things that you can relate to but there are other things that if you would tell the story would maybe go very different maybe you would actually go to the party but then you would grab a couple drinks or maybe at the beginning to find once a person and only stick to this person right so those are those nuanced differences in our experiences but it’s incredibly important if you want to overcome social anxiety for this reason as a first step in this module I’m gonna define and then deconstruct social anxiety and we’re gonna do two big things there and the first thing is as I said is defining and deconstructing it and when I say defining social anxiety it’s really important how we use language and it’s gonna sound like a linguistic nuance but it’s including me important because how we use the word social anxiety defines how we’re gonna relate to it and there’s one big mistake it’s not like a conscious mistake but one big misconception rather that people have our own social anxiety and how they would like to it and once you change this misconception a lot of other things start to become a lot more obvious and a lot easier to deal with but you’re gonna see this in the next video so teaser here and the other thing we’re gonna do is going to deconstruct it right so sorting that is this big thing but as you’re going to see is has also a lot of different you know individual experiences that are part of this and doing this is incredibly important for two reasons right or basically it’s two big benefits when we start to do this and instead of telling exactly what is on tell your story so when I used to you know travel from like therapy clinic to therapy clinic practicing and different therapists work on different people there was one therapist that I worked under his name was Kunta Schmidt he was incredible therapist and could be famous in Germany and here this big clinic you know what worked there and whenever he would have a new client and often they would treat people to depression a client would come in say you know what I have depression and then what he would start to do is he would ask the person okay on a scale for minus 10 to +10 how do you feel on an average day right so plus 10 and then minus 10 is somewhere you know in the middle so we’re you know how would you usually feel on an average day and this person was depression would say huh I always feel a minus 10 so this is what they’re you know what they think the actual experiences right this is always the minus ten and then what he would begin to do is he would ask very specific questions about the experience right and slowly would have start to happen is then would come out well actually every Tuesday then of minus ten actually every Tuesday their mind may be a minus seven yeah and then he would continue and then at one point would find out actually you know every Saturday every second Saturday they actually minus five yeah and now you know maybe they’re minus five because their mother was visited right or maybe they were minus seven because they’re famous you know their favorite football club you know wins every Saturday and they’re really good this season right so you have those nuanced experiences and they’re two things that happen when you do this when you create a more nuanced experience of whatever is going on two things happen number one you can begin to look for resources right so now we have those two things and now we can say hey why is this different what’s going on here that’s Benedict you know and then as an example that’s where you know the person’s mother is visiting them and this is maybe where the fate you know the favorite football club is awaiting so now you have those resources same things that already worked very well the same thing when you have social anxiety we can look for those you know specific things that already work pretty well for you we can look for the things that you already have going for you and situations where you already feel comfortable and confident because you don’t always feel nervous and you don’t always feel nervous in every situation and it’s very specific things that trigger this right so this is the one thing that you can do here and the second thing what actually happens there is that they’ll instead of having this big looming thing I have depression or I have social anxiety now what starts to what starts to happiness instead of having this big thing is almost the same no actually I don’t have depression but like I’m five or seven days I feel depressed right so now I’m serving this big thing it starts becoming lot smaller so for you for example on my case there’s social anxiety on this day instead I felt self conscious when I was talking to you know like a younger pretty girl right I had thoughts my mind like I’m not good enough I don’t belong here out of fitting here so instead of having social anxiety no I had certain thoughts in my mind at certain bottoming sensations and I’ve shown a certain behavior and now once again we kind of broke it down when we make it a lot more manageable because this is a really important thing dealing with social anxiety is almost impossible I’m going to talk more about this later and because it’s just a big entity and it doesn’t mean anything but knowing how to deal with thoughts in your mind knowing how to deal with bodily sensations now become super manageable now you can learn the skills how to deal with it right so for this reason the first thing we’re doing this module is deconstruct it define what social anxieties the second part of what we can do in this module is we’re gonna look at the behaviors that come afterwards for example my case when I got really nervous really uncomfortable really self conscious what to do at the party on one outside said no stairs beep yourself up and then just left the situation so this was my way to cope with it and there’s certain things that people do that actually help them right and they actually you support their fight against social anxiety and there are other things that people do that actually fuel this social anxiety that make your social anxiety come back those are the four psychological processes that fuel social anxiety so we’re gonna look for you specifically what are those processes for you what are the things that you’ve tried in the past today with social anxiety and how many of those things have worked and probably since you you hear certain things definitely have not worked otherwise you wouldn’t be here and then all the things that have worked what have actually cost you right so what is the cost associated with this because not only sometimes you get even more nervous but also you know when I’m focusing when I left the situation what did I miss out on I didn’t spend time at the after party and maybe didn’t meet certain people so for this reason what has it cost you the way how you deal with social anxiety so far yeah so first of all number one deconstruct and define number two looking at the things that you’ve tried so far and you know kind of getting rid of all the things that don’t work and then lastly when putting those Peter B’s two pieces together summing everything up and then I’m going to talk about okay now from this how can we move four and then you’re gonna get one specific it’s not even action piece or like a homework that you’re gonna get there because in this module we’re not going to change anything instead you’re simply going to begin to relate differently to experience because if you start to do this and simply point out what your actual experience is it already begins to change this person that does this right that point of those nuances in the experience without changing anything already actually changed something so simply but you know today was actually going on in those moments where I feel anxious and nervous and self conscious but really understanding what’s going on there the experience already going to be different and you know Victor Franco said this most famously between spoon stimulus and response this is tiny space and within the space lies all the freedom that we need to create a life for ourselves and also Christine F did a bunch of research around this and she found out that simply by labeling certain emotions you can already reduce the impact that they’re having you and with this I’m very excited for you to get into this and now let’s get started. .

Tagged As: social anxiety

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