Why Do I Have Social Anxiety
Before I get started here I feel like I should add a disclaimer. We’re going to look at the underlying causes and answer the “why do I have social anxiety” question but we’re going to quickly sidestep any “why me” whining and move straight onto the how to overcome social anxiety stage.
It’s important to understand the reasons behind social anxiety but only in the context to understanding how to beat it. I’ve dealt with shyness and social anxiety myself and I know how debilitating it can be. If you’re looking for a ‘oh why me’ kind of thing then this isn’t the place for you. If you’re in a ‘what is this thing and how can I kick its ass’ then let’s talk. You can read more about this by clicking here aswell
Specifically let’s talk about the social pyramid.
The Social Pyramid
The social pyramid affects some more than others which is why some of us feel social anxiety or shyness more than others. But we all (and I do mean all) subconsciously judge ourselves and others in a social ‘levels’. A who is better than who kind of game.
The rules of this game are ever changing and what you judge yourself by might change from person yo person or even moment to moment with the same person. But, as a survival instinct, whether we are aware of it or not we judge ourselves in relation to others constantly.
It might be by popularity. Maybe money, looks or even something as inane as an accent but in every social setting where you feel social anxiety you’re seeing yourself as somewhat lower than another person and your caveman survival brain goes into submission and survival mode.
That’s basically it in a nutshell. You have social anxiety because the lower levels of your brain still work on outdated caveman survival instincts and this lower level doesn’t accept basic logic and reasoning. This can block you from even begining to figure out how to overcome social anxiety.
It thinks that cute girl is a threat because she’s somehow better than you and should be avoided. It’ll make you blush, sweat and mumble in order to get you away and not make her think you’re a threat. You can’t, unfortunately rationalize away this argument by telling your caveman brain that really she’s just a pretty girl who asked you to go for a drink. It’s already in run for the hills mode. The social anxiety symptoms are already in full affect and she’s starting to wonder what’s wrong with you.
While rationalizing might be out the window, you can learn to beat social anxiety. The caveman survival mechanism doesn’t understand logic and reason but it does learn from experience and our training takes you step by step through showing the caveman that there’s really no threat.
But if everyone does this when why do some people suffer from social anxiety disorder more than others?
Predilection to Social Anxiety
Part of it is biology. Some of us are more likely to have social anxiety than others. You can see the same thing in other animals as they prefer to sit back and watch others dive through holes. Studies have suggested that there’s even a link to this and individual intelligence. It might just be something you’re born with.
This doesn’t mean you stuck with it. It is still easily beatable but it might just be luck of the draw and simple as that.
More commonly however, we find that if you’re asking why do I have social anxiety its more likely learned behavior. It’s why personally I don’t like the term social anxiety disorder because it implies there’s something actually wrong with you.
The likelihood is that you’ve been loud and outgoing and have been met with a negative response. Maybe as a child, maybe later in life. More likely both. And your brain chalks it up to a bad idea and becomes more introverted. It’s not an overnight transformation it’ll be slow and systematic but its still nothing which can’t be reversed.
Reality is we could talk for hours about the root cause of social anxiety but I’m a bigger fan of looking forwards. Understanding the reason why is useful and our training discusses some techniques which heavily relies on understanding why your body reacts the way it does.
Maybe understanding the cause of your social anxiety is enough for you. For some it might be. Don’t let this be a short term fix though. Too many people take a few minutes to reassure themselves there is a solution and that’s as far as they ever take it. If you want to look at why you have social anxiety and what you can start doing about it today, take a look at our social anxiety test or daily training. Or just keep searching around for why you have social anxiety and what you can do about it. Bottom line is do something and I’m happy. Too many people let it just continue on and it’s a growing problem. It’s not just my anecdotal evidence (although I see more and more people everyday on this site) there’s been studies done. Shyness and social anxiety are growing issues and if left to their own devices can start running your life on you.